There are days, weeks, months and even years when life just seems to be completely overwhelming.   Those days we’d probably just as soon roll over in bed and cover our heads and ignore the demands of that day.  Some will go further than that.  Maybe they’ll drown their worries and sorrows in alcohol or depression or sex or maybe just lose themselves in an endless binge of social media or Youtube watching.

I’ve been through this more than one time in life.  There were many days after my divorce when I lost my job and couldn’t find work for 8 months.  I owed back taxes to the IRS and eventually couldn’t pay the rent, so I moved into my car.  Although, I had gotten a job, it was far from adequate to pay rent.  I spent 9 months living out of my car in an Austin Walmart parking lot at night. It was a dark time in my life. 

What do we do when it seems like life is just one Shit Storm after another?

Feel the Emotions and Accept the Circumstances.

We cannot escape that sometimes we’ll have tough circumstances to deal with.  It’s important to feel the emotions, as repressing them will not serve us.  It’s ok to feel embarrassed, ashamed, anger, and sadness.  Remember that you are human. We can allow those emotions to drive us forward to the next chapter if we let them.  We just can’t let them own us.  The second part of that is to get objective on the facts by accepting what is.    It’s important not to embellish the meaning of those circumstances.   Maybe even write down what those circumstances are.  “I’m not making much money.”  “I’m living in my car.” “I’d rather have a bed in a warm house.”   But don’t attach meaning to the those circumstances by saying something like, “God must hate me.”   Byron Katie has said something that helps me:

“When I argue with reality, I lose.  But only 100% of the time.”

Find Something To Be Grateful For Once we have have accepted our “Reality”, we have to search for what IS good.  I know sometimes it’s hard to do, but ask yourself, “If I wanted to find something grateful for what would it be?” 

For me, one thing that I remembered one crazy stormy night in my car was that I was so grateful to be inside of that car.  I felt warmed because I wasn’t dealing with feeling the coldness of the rain and wind.  The car shook that night, but I was warm inside of it and the next day came with me warm and dry.  While no one would say it was perfect, it was something that helped.  And there is always something to be grateful for.

Look for Your Resources. The thing we have to remember is that while we may “feel” hopeless, we are not helpless.  There are ALWAYS resources around us.  Sometimes, it’s a friend we can confide in.   In fact, I would say that there’s almost always someone available to help us.  For the most part, I didn’t share my situation, because I was so ashamed.  But there were a couple of people I did confide in and spoke with on the phone during this time.

Another example was realizing I needed to shower.  I still had my gym membership at 24 Hour Fitness.  So every morning, I would drive my car there and take clean clothes in.  I would shower afterwards before going to my job.  I didn’t have a house or an apartment, but I found the way to be fresh each and every day by going to that gym.

Remember That This Too Shall Pass I can’t emphasize how important this is to find our way.  There is always hope and there’s always a way.  This applies to the good stuff, too.  If you’ve ever experienced euphoria or great success, that often passes, too.  In fact, sometimes we go into that space of deciding that life just sucks because I used to make six figures and be happy and now I’ll never be happy again.  It’s that last part that is our interpretation of what’s happening.    And if we believe that – if we make that our meaning, we will create  a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Do not give meaning to the circumstances (step 1).  At the end of the day, you’ve made it through other tough situations.  Think about those. Name them.  And remember, that this too shall pass.

Choose Freedom. I’m amazed by the former Nazi concentration camp survivor, Viktor Frankl.  Despite tremendous atrocities to him and other prisoners, he overcame it by pointing out that he was truly free.  No one – not even those prison guards could take away his freedom to choose happiness.  He said:

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms —- to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose ones own way.” – from Man’s Search for Meaning.

We can choose our own freedom.  Freedom from the tyranny of disempowering thoughts.  Freedom from the chains of past pains and losses.

Today, I wish for you that the Shit Storms of Life pass by quickly and give way to the sunshine and good times.  While some things may be FINAL, very few things are truly FATAL.  The better times are coming.  They are.  You’ll see.

What do you think? What “shit storms” have you been through or going through right now? What resources did you find and use?